How long is Forever?

"and we will spend eternity with him"

-Anonymous

That's what i tell myself everyday, and then i wonder how long is forever. It is a place with n0 beginning or end. It has no parameters, it has no standards or meaning to me. It makes no sense to my finite self, but above all i hope that one day or lack there of that i will find eternity, and that it will beyond what i can ever imagine. Because i have found that Christianity is the only religion where paradise is 1. Assured, and 2. Good. For example if i am a postmodern life is the end of life, and then it is into oblivion, same with secular humanist, and marxist. Cosmic Humanist paradise is pretty much spiritual suicide. Islam is so uncertain that i can never know whether or not i can achieve heaven. In that sense Catholicism also falls under the same category. But i can tell you this that Christianity is my only escape from several things in this world. Pain, because it is so temporary. I mean it hurts but it goes away right? Depression which i believe to be much more deadly than pain. Because, that is not so much pain, but a belief in that which appears to inevitable. I guess actually that the purpose for my writing this blog is that my mother father and brother all suffer from mild to serious cases of depression. I however seem to have escaped this "epidemic" and now view the rest of the world with a slightly cynical view and i think that that is where i get my detachment from reality. I don't really know. Maybe i am just a teenager, but i don't think so. I mean the only things that really make me nervous are not physical for example, i jump 20 feet off a sandcliff, and i barely get excited. I get in a car wreck and the first thing that i think is not a thought about perserving life rather it is about how this is going to affect my insurance. even public speaking, or performing doesn't bug me much. Many people look at such detachment and think "wow that's cool" but i think they miss the point. I guess that life doesn't mean that much to me. The ups and downs are somehow dulled. However, what this really means is that things that mean a lot to me matter so much that i would do crazy stuff to preserve them. Back to my original point. How long is forever. Forever is this. the moment in time where you close your eyes and forget how long life is. That is forever.